The Cancer Trip: Family, Friends, Victories, Defeats – Intermission
Intermission
There are several points to be made in this first of four events that I am going to chronicle. (There are other events that I will not cover here: my mother died of cancer; my children’s mother is a cancer survivor.) And in the process of making these points I’m certain to come across as an apologist for God. And if I am, the question I raise is what warrants or entitles or allows one to be legitimate in this endeavor? I say that to suggest that one may know much “about” God but it is quite definitely not the same as knowing God. And the implications are enormous.
With this mind we return to the younger version of me described in parts 1 and 2. (And hindsight here is quite handy. If only he had known what I know now.) In order to avoid the miasmas of filters that were certainly influential in my world view and view of God, I can categorically say that I thought I knew much about God but did not know God.
There is a purpose in this if you allow me. Regardless of the life circumstance – illness, tragedy, deception, betrayal, death, loss, uncertainty or whatever you or I have been or will go through, even the good, happy, prosperous, joyful, wonderful times – there always remains the questions of where is God in all this, in what ways is He involved and what is He up to? Can we even know? And my contention is that we can know and it is all about identity, which is all about intimacy.
For example, I love history. Within that I’m drawn particularly to recent American history, especially World War II. Of the many personalities of that time I have had a great interest in Winston Churchill. I have read his 4-volume set entitled, “A History of the English-Speaking Peoples and his Nobel Prize winning, 6-volume set, “The Second World War.” In addition, I have read William Manchester’s biography of Churchill entitled, “The Last Lion.” Add to this many other books written of that period by many different authors that recounted Winston Churchill in as little as a few sentences up to paragraphs and even chapters. I have read much about Winston Churchill.
To the point, though, outside of pictures or recordings I have never seen nor heard Churchill, much less conversed with him. I have not spent a single moment with him. I know much about him but I do not know him. I would not be qualified or entitled to be his apologist for I am confined to written historical works but not one iota of personal knowledge. And while one could derive passion, devotion, motive and purpose from his writings there remains no intimate connection between us that would warrant my support or defense of him.
In much the same way, my Bible studies alone, while of inestimable value, did not become a precursor to a deeper relationship through intimacy born out of time spent together. Ironically, during those years I was too busy doing things for Him and my time with Him was almost solely confined to asking Him for things I wanted or needed. Imagine any relationship based strictly on one asking the other to produce wants and needs but void of listening, sharing, dialoguing, and delighting in each other’s company. I think you get the point.
In my years since then I have met many whose only real concept of God is Someone Who is very far away, very detached. Or that Someone with Whom they are angry because of loss or disappointment because they were convinced that He was in control and therefore responsible. If this describes you, even in part, please stay with me on this trip. It will only take some of your time and you can decide. I offer nothing but my journey, my personal experience and my personal take on these things. Perhaps we will see some myths dismantled, some lies exposed. My hope is beyond bringing clarity to the context of your personal situation, it brings you into closer relationship with a really, really good God so that you can discover the real Him and thereby discover the real, beloved you. And there is an enemy whose primary weapons are lies and deception engaged against us to keep these realities at least in doubt, at worst, in denial.
Part 3 will follow.